10 December 2007

FFS It's Monday: Religion

Ten years ago we didn't worry too much about religion, well, unless we lived in Northern Ireland and wanted to know which bunch of Christians to lock up (the Catholics, for those playing the home game). Today however, the news is full of religion, whether it be a teacher imprisoned for calling a teddy bear Mohammed, the annual "war on Christmas" or just the general religious nuts kicking the shit out of each other because their interpretation of the Torah/Qur'an/Bible/the ending of Harry Potter is slightly more correct than the other sides'.

It would be facetious of me to claim that all the world's problems could be solved if only religion was abolished, preferably down the barrel of a gun and with the forcible swallowing of all holy books by the believers. But it would also be largely correct, observe:

  • Israel - Palestine: Aside from a belief that a couple of miles of desert were given to you by some bloke with a beard and a deep voice, what actually divides you? Ok, apart from superior military strength and a wish to take Fridays off. Workshy layabouts... I say as a student with the next month off - way hey!
  • India - Pakistan: No need to have partitioned in the first place and you would have deprived the BNP Neanderthals of their favourite racist term, "pakis". Win - win all round I think.
  • USA - Rest of the World: Shorn of a belief in their god-awful-righteousness, this international bully could have settled down and started to treat the rest of us atheist scum with a bit of respect. Unless of course they just continued to be a bully. Bugger, I didn't think this one through.

But you can see where I'm coming from. And it's not just in the international arena - at home, MPs and political commentators are bandying around terms like Christianophobia and claiming they are being singled out for special ridicule with straight faces and not a hint of irony. So, let me make this clear - all religion is a load of codswallop, designed in more primitive times to scare the masses into submission (cf. terrorism) and fill the coffers and increase the power of those elites lucky enough to have a citizenship so moronically, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest brain dead that they'd fall for a story about a man that could walk on water and survive having a couple of dozen tetanus soaked nails shoved through his limbs. These same people then pissed themselves laughing when a few of them fell for the yarn that there was a new Prophet, and this one was so holy you couldn't even draw him. They were last seen in 2003 compiling intelligence assessments for the British Government and handing Dr David Kelly a knife. Oh, how fucking droll.

Bottom line, believing in any god is about as logical as having a "system" on Deal or No Deal or believing it's wrong for one bunch of nutbags to have nuclear weapons and not another lot, which is why George Bush is a god-fearing Christian and the rest of us should be ashamed of being the same species as him. But hey, if you want to do it, that's your right as a free-thinking, albeit misguided, human being. Just don't be shocked when I, or others like me, exercise our right to tell you how wrong you are and argue for a better, religion free, world.

Where you offended by this post? Then you probably shouldn't listen to these Marcus Brigstoke rantings, nor sign this pledge by James Graham.

1 comment:

amphibious said...

if only religion was abolished, preferably down the barrel of a gun and with the forcible swallowing of all holy books by the believers.
I second the above and move that religious indoctrination of anyone under 21 (or preferably 99..)be prosecuted as child abuse.
Probably tax abuse too.