Following on from last week's McCann based joke that never aired, here's some that didn't make it into tonight's Vox Politix:
Top Ten lies about Heather Mills
5. In an ironic twist of fate, touching her fake leg cures leprosy.
3. She kidnapped Madeleine McCann.
2. Whilst appearing on the US version of Strictly Come Dancing and during a particularly tricky allegro heel turn her fake leg flew off and fatally stabbed an audience member. [this one actually went out in altered form, but I prefer the longer version]
1. She was the De Menezes gunman.
I'm kind of glad at least one of them was rejected, as it allowed me to put this one in:
2. She carries a picture of an African AIDS orphan in her back pocket to remind her that she really is the most unfortunate person in the world.