Jonathan King

Jonathan King has been released from prison after serving 3 years of a 7 year sentence.

Following his release, Mr King confirmed that he will be standing as a Tory Candidate for Arundel and South Downs, following Howard Flight's sacking last week.
"As a total pervert, Jonathan will fit right in with the Conservatives", said Tory leader Michael Howard, "as long as he doesn't mention public sector cuts!"

Mr King earlier today.
Wanker.

Guardian Blog Awards

Yes they're here. And as Recess Monkey (a long term institution on my blog roll) has reminded me, vote Recess Monkey!

Little Britain 3

The BBC has commissioned a 3rd series of Little Britain.
The writers of the series, David Walliams and Matt Lucas, have confirmed that rather than writing new material they will simply show clips from the previous two series. It is believed that audiences will not be able to tell the difference, as the sketches basically consist of the same catchphrases repeated over and over again, week in, week out.

Parliamentary Ping Pong

Reports have emerged of strange goings on at last week's all night session of Parliament...

"Like most vampires, Michael Howard experienced no problems staying up all night, although at 6:20am he was forced to retire to the lower floors of the Palace of Westminster, citing ‘sunlight problems’. He was seen dragging the bodies of two tired and emotional Labour MPs with him, for reasons unknown. When questioned later about the whereabouts of the two MPs, he responded, whilst dabbing specks of a strange red liquid from his lips, “oh, I don’t think we’ll be seeing them for a while”. "

Source: Rooters.